Day 11.

1. Today I'm grateful that I heaved myself out the door to walk the dog and even managed to semi run. I really, really want to get fit and healthy so I can be a fun active mum for Thom.

I also need to be fit and healthy for the paramedic job application. I'm feeling really motivated to get my life in order.

2. I'm grateful to have friends who I can be totally honest about how hard/frustrating/mind-fucking parenting can be. Whenever you get one issue sorted you seem to get another one. It's hard .... Worthwhile but hard.

3. I'm grateful to have my mum offer to take Thom for the night. I love that she WANTS to spend time with him. I love nothing more than seeing them get along.

Day 10.

1. I'm so grateful for my family's support. I am consider a massive career change from an office job to a paramedic and that would mean a year's unpaid study. My mum and stepdad have offered to let myself and Thomas live with them for the year so I can achieve my dream.

Time to get organised and change my life.

2. I'm grateful to not have anyone in my life telling me I'm going overboard with Thom's birthday party planning. I love a themed kids birthday party and my ex used to always rain on my parade. I'm so looking forward to getting everything in place for Thom's 3rd fireman birthday party.

3. I'm super blessed to have fabulous friends in countries around the world. Just got off the phone to my gorgeous friend Beth who moved back to the UK in December. I miss her heaps but know that I have a place to stay the next time I travel to Europe :) whenever that may be!!

Day 9.

1. I'm grateful that I can do fun, physical activities with Thom.  I love that I can run around with him, wade through water with him, piggy back him. We take these little things for granted sometimes!

Today I took Thom to the Rio Tinto Naturescape in Kings Park and he got to play in mud and splash in water and throw rocks and all the fun outdoor things a little boy should do.  I think one of the best things about having a child is getting to be a child all over again!


2. For a step-dad who really, really takes an interest and genuinely loves my son.  I had a really shitty step-dad growing up who openly favoured his own children over me and my brother.  I'm so lucky that my mum has got it right now and married someone who treats me and my siblings like his own and is so good with Thom.  Thom loves his Bapou, and so do I


3. For my gorgeous new Fossil watch that Thom picked for me for Christmas.  It's perfect and even at 2.5 that kid knows me so well ;)

Day 8.

1. Today I am grateful that my mum came home from holidays.  She was away for 2.5 weeks over the Christmas period and I just missed her. So. Damn. Much.

My mum and I have had a rough path on the road to the relationship we have now. Full of many ups and downs, months of not talking, heated ugly words  ... it's not always been very pretty. On both of our parts. 

I used to be jealous of the mother-daughter relationships my friends had with their mums. Shopping, softness and Saturday coffees. But I don't like shopping or coffee and I'm not very soft. I think my mum was made just for me and I'm lucky to have her.


2. For a job that makes me use my brain.  Every day with this job I am confused and frustrated and have to think and problem solve to get an answer.  After working too many years in a mindless job it's kind of thrilling to have to search to find an answer and feeling some sense of achievement. 

I don't know if this job is forever.  I know everyone says this but I've always really believed that I am meant to do something big with my life. Something meaningful and that makes a difference. I'm still trying to figure it all out.


3. For a great night's sleep last night.  After days of being sick and feeling blocked up it was much needed.  Sleep is the best medicine. I would marry it.

Day 7.

1. I'm grateful for being back at work today. The past two weeks of 'holidays' were exhausting. Trying to entertain and capture the imagination of a toddler is exhausting, especially in the heatwave. I felt like such a failure every time I turned on the tv.

I think it takes a lot of patience and creativity to be a stay at home mum. I crave adult interaction and challenging my brain. I have accepted that's just who I am and I think being a strong, independent, working woman is a good thing for Thom to witness as he grows. I want him to place the same value on money that I do.

2. I'm grateful to have found a friend at work who gets my dirty, inappropriate sense of humour. I like having an email pal to break up the day. I laughed out loud at my computer today ... Which would have been more awkward if I was in the office.

3. I'm so very grateful to be at peace with the end of my marriage. I was emailing with a friend today who is still in the height of his relationship breakup. He is very angry, emotional, depressed and I try to empathise but I realise that I'm not there any more. I'm so glad. Breakups suck the life and joy out of you.

Here's someone who brings me joy:

Day 6.

1. I'm grateful I woke up feeling slightly better today. My house is semi in order and having a tidy house improves my mental state!

2. I'm grateful for finding a website that let me watch all the episodes so for in Season 9 of Grey's Anatomy. I love that show. I'm a little in love with the character Jackson Avery. Teen crush

3. I'm grateful that so for this year my ex and I are managing to be amicable. When he dropped Thom off today he even came in and put up a shelf for me. As much as it would be easy to despise him I think it's best for Thom to see us being friendly. Pretty sure my mum will hate the idea.

I'm so glad to have Thom home and tucked up in bed. He wanted to hold my hand when he had his bath tonight and it was just the cutest thing. Ever.

Day 5.

1.  For having shared custody and being able to take the weekend to recuperate.

2. For peace and quiet.  I havent moved much today except to swap between the sofa and bed.  I know other mums and single mums don't get the priveledge of down time and I am truly thankful to be able to rest. 

3. For my lovely dog Charlie.  He hasn't left my side all day and he's definitely helped me feel less alone.

It's a bit of a pathetic entry today but I'm feeling a little pathetic.  Back to work on Monday so I am determined to have this bug out of my system by tomorrow!!